apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
