Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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