i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Can you bring me the toilet please
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
