I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
