first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
