Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
