i just had sex bonerless
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
