I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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