I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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