If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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