I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
