she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
