Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
