the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
