I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
