Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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