I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
