Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize