Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
