i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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