My sheets look like a crime scene.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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