We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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