I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize