we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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