Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We had sex on a dog bed..
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
