Taylor Swift is so right about you.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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