I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
