He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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