I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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