belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
