the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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