guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
one two three fourrrrnication!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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