Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
