she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
