That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
