Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize