Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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