Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Everything about him screamed your future.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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