i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
