I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
