This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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