i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he puts the penis in happiness.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
