8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
