I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
