Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
