I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
