my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
