I think I am morally bankrupt
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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