If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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