I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
