Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
