I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
