my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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