no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
