Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
