Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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