Banned from zoo.
Again?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
