we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
