I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
