I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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