yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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